One miracle at a time

Today I decided I will pay more attention even to the little miracles I get from God every day. These little miracles summed up together will make up my daily dose of supplement to keep my faith healthy. I make a little more effort not to let any miracle, no matter how small it is, pass without me thanking God for it.

Today,

1. My husband called me by his endearment (we call each other the same way). There was a point in the past when he stopped calling me that and only called me by my first name. That hurt me so much as to me, that means that I was no one special. It felt like I was just a person who means nothing to him. This is on top of him not wearing our wedding ring anymore for I can;t remember how long. Lately, he doesn't even look at me anymore moreso call me... But he called me earlier on our way home (maybe he had no choice but to call  my attention). It's miracle that he still called my by endearment.

2. He listened to Matisyahu in his iPod in our way home. This is after this morning's heavy metal, demonic music on our way to work.

3. God helped me in my reports today. I didn't screw up and felt like God was supplying me with wisdom on how to deal with the issues I encountered.

4. I had a good dream last night. A dream that gives me hope. We were happy in that dream and we were a family.

5. Good health and strength. I felt God giving me peace that surpasses all understanding despite the trouble that lays await at me. I know in my heart that He will make all things beautiful in His time. If you knew how much pain I am going through right now, you'd understand what a miracle God's peace is to overcome my grief.

Thank you for the miracles today, LORD. I can't wait for what You will do tomorrow and everyday of my life.

One Day

At what point do you give up? At what point do you say, "That's enough"? When do you say, "It's over"?

Never.

Don't miss God's answer to your desperation... He is God. He is in control even when things fall apart. One day, the sun will rise and you will see the goodness of God dawn in your life.

My life journey as a wife is one that required so much faith and supernatural strength to hold steadfast and continue trusting in God. Everything pushed me to my limits... to the brink of giving up; to the point of wanting to die so the pain would stop. There was a time when I got so angry with God that I wanted to end my life even if it meant me going to hell.

When my husband's faith in God spiralled down, my faith also did. And his struggle and my struggle to this situation caused so much damage to our marriage. I don't exactly know what's going on in his mind, or what he's going through... all I know is he has shut me out of his life and dealt with it in a way that hurt me as his wife in all ways imaginable and beyond.

That's over 3 years now. Not much has changed in my beloved. If not, he got worse. But something did in me. The pain is still real but my eyes are set on Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. I am no longer defined by the circumstances that may seem hopeless to man. I am defined by God's grace, love, goodness, faithfulness and promises. One day, my husband's faith will be restored and he will be a changed man forever. I pray as often as I can for him anticipating that day.

One day.